I miss Beijing. I really wish those two months didn’t go by so quickly. I want to go back. I want to turn back time and freeze it so that I am back in Beijing with those people I was there with. It was so magnificently wonderful. I am having such a difficult time adjusting back. I miss Beijing.
Street #art!!! #beijing #798 #streetart #modernart #graffiti #china #itisbeijingbaby #picoftheday
Beijing, China. 09.07.14
The First Time in Bejing.
Beijing, China, February 2014
Kodak Tri-X 400 / Nikon Fe2
Hao Junchen’s photograph, “Hugging a portrait of his deceased wife, an elderly man fulfills their dream of visiting Beiijing” (2003).
via: Art Blart blog
北京，故宫太和门官场 Taihe Men Sqaure位于北京市区中心，旧称紫禁城，是明清两代的皇宫，是中国现存规模最大最完整的古建筑群，始建于明永乐四年至十八年(1406年-1420年)，后经多次重修与改建，扔保持原有布局。占地72万多平方米，屋宇9,000余间，周围宫墙高10余米，长约3,000米，四角矗立风格绮丽的角楼，墙外有宽52米的护城河环绕。整个建筑群气势宠伟豪华，布局开阔对称，内外装饰壮丽辉煌，是中国古代建筑艺术的精华。1987年被列入《世界文化遗产名录》。Forbidden City (Imperial Palace) in the heart of Beijing is the largest and most complete imperial palace and ancient building complex in the world. Built from 1406 to 1520, the complex consists of 980 surviving buildings with 8,707 bays of rooms and cover 720,000 square meters. The palace complex exemplifies traditional Chinese palatial architecture and has influenced cultural and architectural developments in East Asia and elsewhere. It was made part of World Cultural Heritage List in 1987.
在北京，我交了很多朋友。我的中文水平提高了。我做了很多新的东西。我有了很多新的事情。有很多人对我有很严重的影响。连我新的朋友都对我有很严重的影响，更不用说我的中文老师。我不会忘记他们。在我的心中，他们都有很重要的地位。我想告诉他们都 “谢谢” 我真的觉得如果没有你们就没那么好玩儿。其实我还没想回来美国，但是就没有时间了。我真的会想北京。我特别会想大家。现在，在北京我的心还在。但是我不担心因为我会回去北京。等我吧!
What can I say about my experience in Beijing. It was… magnificent, splendid, amazing, something I know I will probably never be able to experience ever again. I went in as frightened as a child who had just lost her parents in a crowd of strangers and left, only to leave my heart in Beijing. I swear I will return for it.
I remember my first day. It was the most terrifying thing I had ever experienced. But it was all worth it. It really was. Not only did I grow to love the Beijing life, but the people I met there, I would not trade them for the world.
I will admit, there were somethings that I did not take a liking to. But all of those things don’t even measure up to the amazing experience I had there. I have to apologize for my lack of words and inability to really be able to express just how much I loved it there. All I can say is that I wish it had lasted just a little longer. I really cannot wait to go back.
My love for Beijing may also have been influenced by the people who I met there and my awesome experiences with them. Who am I kidding, they definitely were. If it were not for them, I don’t know how I would have survived. I can’t thank them enough for giving me the experience of a lifetime.
One of my favorite nights while there was the first time some of us went out. It was the first time we actually got to kind of put our Mandarin skills to use. Sort of ;) We went out to karaoke for a friend’s 21st birthday. It took us forever to find the place and then when we finally got there, none of us knew how to get a room. I finally gathered the courage to go up to the front desk and try to ask using my horrible Mandarin skills. After about 20-30 minutes, maybe longer, of waiting around for an English speaker to come translate for us, who we eventually just ended up speaking to in Mandarin anyway, we finally got a room. It ended up being a pretty nice room. We had it for 7 HOURS! Our next obstacle was finding the English list of songs. One of us fiddled around with it and finally found it. Then… we started singing! :D We ended up staying there until about 3AM and considered just using the rest of our time there to sleep in the room because our dorm buildings were supposed to be locked up and we had no way in. But we ended up deciding to just head back to campus. I ended up getting shoved into a cab when I insisted on staying to help the others get a cab. Apparently I couldn’t handle myself xP I was handling myself just fine though. It was a pretty fun filled night. Even though it started out really shitty and all of us thought it was going to suck, we all ended up having a really really fun night.
One of my favorite trips was when we all went to An Yang. That was super awesome because the hiking we did was really cool and the views were amazing. Also, when we got to the top, there was a zip-line and that was really fun too. :D
While in Beijing, I had a bit of a identity crisis. Is that what it’s called? Maybe not. It wasn’t that I didn’t know who I wanted to be. It was more like, the trip made me question who I was, my own standards, what I stood for, what I believed in, the kind of person I am or was and who I might have been becoming or became. I don’t know if any of this makes any sense at all. I also didn’t know what I wanted. Or maybe I did, and I just knew that I couldn’t have it, but still wanted it, even though I knew I couldn’t have it. I don’t know, it was all so confusing. It is still confusing. Emotions are funny like that. Well, mine are. Even I can’t tell you what they mean or want or what ever.
If there was anything I wish I could have done more of, it would be traveling. I wish I traveled a little more while I was in Beijing. Most of the time we just stayed near campus. But I really wanted to go to this lake called Qinglonghu and to the Ming tombs and I really wanted to go cave diving too. Alas, our trip was too short and we did not have enough time. Next time I go, I will not miss out on those things! :D And I cannot wait to return! Watch out Beijing! Sandy Chang is coming back! :D
It depends. Does a bad mood mean sad, mad, worried, etc.?
When I am feeling sad, I like to try and get my mind off of what ever is making me sad. I will try to think of good memories, listen to music that reminds me of pleasant times, stuff like that.
If I’m mad, I like to work it off through physical exercise.
If I’m worried, well, I guess the only thing that can make me not worry is to make sure what ever I am worried about it okay.
1. I’ve looked over my past posts. Some of them make me laugh. Some of them make me smile. Some make me nostalgic. And some make me want to slap myself. Honestly I kind of want to get rid of a lot of it. But, I also think that it is a good record of how I have changed, the experiences I have gone through, etc. Although most of it is really depressing stuff, I still think it is a good reminder for me to keep working hard everyday to improve myself.
2. I’m back from China baby :) Aren’t you glad to have me back? Well I’m not that glad to be back. I miss Beijing so much right now. I miss the people. Well, some of them. I miss the streets, the food, the life. I left my heart in China.
3. I’m not looking forward to this school year. I will have to crack down on my studies and start looking for a real job that applies to public health. I will have to start applying for Peace Corps and other stuff like that. I hate applications.
4. I let myself go in China. Who was I? I don’t even recognize who I became while I was there. But I have heard that the most amazing experiences come from the most foolish choices. I made some pretty foolish choices. But I don’t regret them. In fact, those choices are probably the reason I had as much fun as I did. Thank you foolish choice(s).
5. I am starting to not really give a s*** about what some people think anymore.
6. I truly value friendship. But if you screw me over, don’t think you’ll ever mean anything to me anymore.
7. I like people. I don’t like manipulative people.
8. Just because I don’t like you, doesn’t mean I am going to be cruel or mean towards you. I just won’t give a d*** about you.
9. I’ve got the travel bug and I can’t shake it off!
10. I like getting to know people. I don’t mind people getting to know me on a one-on-one basis. Ask me anything and I will almost always tell you. What frustrates me is hearing that you heard something about me from someone else. If you want to know something about me, ask me. The only reason I would not tell you something about myself is if I think or know that you are going to use that information maliciously against me. Or analyze me like I am some kind of lab rat. In that case, you can go screw yourself.
I feel like i have been kind of negative lately.
I’m not sure where all of this negatively is coming from.
Actually, I think I do know, but I’m not sure I want to admit it.
Time to work harder on myself.
MY HEAD FEELS LIKE ITS GOING TO EXPLODE.
Not just because of being sick,
I have finally come to the conclusion that I am done with BOYS for a while. Just DONE.
Right NOW. It’s ME time.
RIGHT NOW. It’s going to be ALL ABOUT ME.
And it is going to stay that way for a while.
I LOVE ME. Because only I can understand ME. And even when I don’t understand ME, it’s okay, because NO ONE else can, so it’s okay.